All the things I wish I knew before I got my first ever puppy!
Puppies…adorable little fluff balls that will become your best friend for life and want to cuddle and play with you all day. That seems to be the general gist of what people think dog ownership is like. After getting a puppy I can totally see why so many people give their puppies up…especially larger breed dogs.
*DISCLAIMER*
When I say I ‘see’ why they give puppies/dogs up, that doesn’t mean I condone it in any way, shape or form, or that I have ever considered giving Cooper up- because I haven’t. All I’m saying is there is a massive difference between the ‘idea of owning’ a dog and ‘the reality’ of owning a dog.
So as I write this, I have just gone outside to find that my new book, which I left on the table for literally 10 seconds while I went to get a drink, is now in tiny little shredded pieces all over the grass. The joys of a puppy parenthood! I guess that’s what inspired me to write this article to describe some of the actual realities of puppy parenthood that nobody really seems to mention much, because maybe if more people knew the realities, less people would end up dumping dogs in rescues because they weren’t what they were expecting!
1. THEIR TEETH ARE NEEDLE SHARP
You may think that because puppies don’t have adult teeth, their bites would hurt less, but it couldn’t be further from the truth! For a start and to be politically correct, most puppies aren’t biting aggressively…they’re just mouthing, and it’s completely normal. HOWEVER, their teeth are like needles, and if you’ve ever had 28 needles jammed into you before, you’ll know it hurts!
2. YOUR HANDS/ARMS/ANKLES ARE GOING TO GET SHREDDED
Following on from number 1, those little needle teeth do damage! I genuinely had to reassure my doctor that I hadn’t been slitting my wrists because I had so many scratch marks up my arms! Although to be honest, arms are the least of your worries! Puppies love feet and ankles, and a pain that is semi bearable on your arms and hands is a hell of a lot more painful on your feet and ankles! I now have many a blood stained sock! Again, they’re not been vicious, it’s all a game to them. You can eventually train them out of it, but it doesn’t happen over night.
3. THERE WILL BE CASUALTIES.. AND A LOT OF THEM.
I.e. Your book. But book aside, in our house there has been ripped clothes, chewed skirting boards, torn up newspapers, a broken garden table, a chewed hose pipe- and Cooper, as far as dogs go, isn’t even much of a chewer! As proven yesterday it only takes a minute for them to find something mischievous to do. Our friends puppy has to be crated for large parts of the day because it literally will NOT stop chewing our friends furniture- even though it has pretty much every dog chew possible! If you’re sentimental about your house and belongings, you better unsentiment yourself very quickly!
4. YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE A SHOE ON THE FLOOR AGAIN.
Fortunately for us, like I said in number 3, Cooper isn’t a massive chewer, so when he does run off with our shoes (which is a pretty much daily occurrence!) he doesn’t destroy them too much. He does however chew laces to bits, so hide your best gym shoes!
5. PEE/POO/VOMIT IS INEVITABLE- GET USED TO IT!
Dogs poo anywhere between 1 and 5 times a day, and as a puppy that could be anywhere! They also pee on an even more frequent basis. A puppy can on average hold it’s bladder for 1 hour per month of age, so when you get your little 2 month old ball of fluff, unless you’re taking them out every 2 hours you’re going to be in for a lot of clean ups! Vomit is also another lovely thing. Puppies have super sensitive stomachs and are extremely vulnerable to parasites and just general tummy upset. This is generally going to lead to 2 things, diarrhoea or vomiting. Or if you’re really lucky like we were…BOTH. They are also very prone to car sickness, for some dogs even 5-10minutes in the car is enough to induce vomiting.
6. SAY GOODBYE TO SOME CLOTHES
Thank god for lockdown because when Cooper was small I lived in old tracksuits. A puppy’s idea of a fun game and a human idea of a fun game very rarely correlate. For puppies, hanging off your clothes is SO FUN. Trouser legs, t shirts, the bottom of your jumpers, it’s all fair game in puppy world. If your clothes are flimsy, they’re going to end up with some holes in!
7. PREPARE FOR EARLY MORNINGS FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS
It’s taken 6 months to get Cooper to sleep in, and when I say sleep in, I mean he goes to bed at 10pm and barks to get out at around 6-7am. For the first few months we had a wake up call anywhere between 4-5am. It got to the point where 5:30 felt like a lay in! Also expect howling and crying in the night, and depending on how you toilet train them, lots of nighttime toilet trips.
8. TRAINING IS NOT EASY
You’re almost conditioned into seeing amazing dog behaviour nowadays, whether it be sitting and watching dogs on TV doing all sorts of cool tricks, or even just watching someone walking their dog perfectly off lead. Unfortunately the reality is dogs do not naturally behave that way, it takes a hell of a lot of training to get them there, and once they’re there, it’s still an ongoing process! Cooper got sit, stay, paw and lay down pretty quickly, but getting him to walk nicely on a lead is still an on going process at 6 months. He also has the zoomies nearly every night and then all training goes completely out the window!
9. THEY’RE EXPENSIVE
A lot of people who I’ve spoken to about dogs assume the price of dog ownership is mainly in the food and the price of the dog in the first instance. They couldn’t be more wrong! Check out my article on Dog Ownership - the long term costs or Puppy Cost Breakdown to get an idea of how much the average dog might cost you. Because trust me, buying a £50 bag of food a month is the least of your worries!
10. IT’S STILL THE MOST AMAZING THING
Despite all of the rather annoying qualities above, owning a dog is an amazing thing, and if you put the work in, you’ll reap the rewards in the long run. Just remember that you need to put the work in yourself. Dog’s won’t train themselves and taking them to one training session a week isn’t going to help either!
